The Role of Therapy in Supporting Moms
Motherhood is a transformative journey, marked by profound joy, love, and connection, but it also comes with unique challenges. From the emotional and physical shifts of pregnancy to the identity changes of postpartum and beyond, mothers often navigate a complex landscape of emotions, responsibilities, and societal expectations.
Therapy tailored for moms offers a vital space to process these experiences, address mental health challenges, and foster resilience.
This article explores the concept of matrescence, the mental health struggles moms may face, and how therapy with licensed and certified therapist Muna Haddad can provide meaningful support through various stages of motherhood. Book a free consultation with Muna today.
The Transition to Motherhood
The transition into motherhood, known as matrescence, is a developmental phase that encompasses emotional, physical, hormonal, and social changes. Comparable to adolescence, matrescence involves a significant reshaping of identity as a woman steps into the role of a mother.
This term, popularized in the 1970s, highlights that becoming a mother is not a singular event but a lifelong process that evolves as children grow and circumstances change. Each stage—whether parenting a newborn, toddler, or adult—brings new challenges and opportunities for growth.
Matrescence acknowledges the duality of motherhood: the deep love for a child can coexist with feelings of loss for one’s pre-motherhood self.
Moms may grapple with ambivalence, feeling both fulfilled by their role and a longing for independence or personal time. Societal pressures often exacerbate these feelings, with cultural narratives suggesting that mothers should always feel joyful and competent.
When reality doesn’t align with these expectations, guilt and shame can emerge, making it difficult for moms to acknowledge their struggles.
This transition can also unearth unresolved emotions or childhood experiences. Reflecting on one’s own upbringing may bring up grief, unresolved trauma, or questions about parenting choices.
For many, matrescence is a time of reckoning, where self-compassion becomes essential. Practicing self-kindness—treating oneself with the same empathy offered to a loved one—can help moms navigate this period with greater ease.
Recognizing that struggle is a universal part of matrescence helps normalize the experience and reduces isolation.
Mental Health Challenges in Motherhood
Motherhood often amplifies mental health challenges due to the intense demands of caregiving, hormonal fluctuations, and societal pressures.
Common issues include postpartum depression, anxiety, and the overwhelming weight of the “mental load”—the invisible cognitive labor of managing a household and family.
These challenges can manifest at any stage, from pregnancy to parenting older children, and vary in intensity based on individual circumstances.
Postpartum Depression & Anxiety
Postpartum depression affects many new mothers, characterized by persistent sadness, fatigue, and difficulty bonding with the baby.
Unlike the transient “baby blues,” which typically resolve within two weeks, postpartum depression lasts longer and can significantly impair daily functioning.
Postpartum anxiety, equally prevalent, may present as excessive worry, irritability, or physical symptoms like racing heartbeats. Both conditions are influenced by hormonal changes, sleep deprivation, and the stress of adjusting to a new role.
Systemic factors, such as lack of social support, financial strain, or cultural expectations, can exacerbate these conditions. For example, societal norms that place disproportionate responsibility on mothers without adequate resources can intensify feelings of inadequacy.
Therapy that considers these broader contexts—acknowledging issues like sexism, racism, or economic inequality—helps moms understand their experiences as part of a larger system rather than personal failings.
The Mental Load and Burnout
The mental load refers to the ongoing cognitive work of anticipating, planning, and organizing family life—everything from scheduling doctor’s appointments to remembering school events.
This invisible labor often falls disproportionately on mothers, leading to burnout, resentment, or feelings of being overwhelmed.
The constant juggling of responsibilities can leave little room for self-care, making it difficult for moms to prioritize their mental health.
Burnout may manifest as emotional exhaustion, irritability, or a sense of disconnection from oneself or others. Moms may feel they’re failing to meet unrealistic standards of “perfect” parenting while neglecting their own needs.
Therapy offers tools to manage this load, such as setting boundaries, communicating needs with partners, and reframing perfectionist tendencies.
Identity Shifts and Grief
Motherhood often prompts a redefinition of identity. The shift from individual to caregiver can feel like a loss of autonomy, career aspirations, or social connections.
This grief is rarely acknowledged, as societal messages emphasize gratitude for motherhood over mourning what’s left behind.
For example, a mother may cherish her child but feel sadness over a career pause or the inability to pursue hobbies. Therapy provides a space to process these complex emotions, helping moms integrate their new identity while honoring their past selves.
How Therapy Supports Moms
Therapy tailored for mothers addresses these challenges by offering a nonjudgmental space to explore emotions, develop coping strategies, and build resilience.
Maternal mental health therapists, often trained in perinatal mental health, understand the unique hormonal, emotional, and social factors that impact moms.
Their expertise allows them to distinguish between normal adjustments and more serious concerns, providing targeted support.
Creating a Safe Space
One of the primary benefits of therapy is the creation of a judgment-free environment. Moms often face external pressures to appear “put together,” which can make it difficult to express vulnerability.
In therapy, they can openly discuss feelings of inadequacy, anger, or sadness without fear of dismissal. This validation is crucial for reducing shame and fostering self-acceptance.
Therapists also help moms navigate the hormonal underpinnings of mood changes. For instance, understanding how estrogen and progesterone fluctuations affect emotions can demystify intense feelings during pregnancy or postpartum.
By framing these experiences as biological and universal, therapy reduces self-blame and empowers moms to seek help.
Building Coping Strategies
Therapy equips moms with practical tools to manage stress and emotional challenges. Cognitive-behavioral techniques can help reframe negative thought patterns, such as “I’m a bad mom” into more balanced perspectives like “I’m doing my best in a tough moment.”
Mindfulness practices, such as deep breathing or grounding exercises, can reduce anxiety and promote calm during chaotic parenting moments.
For the mental load, therapists may guide moms in delegating tasks or communicating needs with partners to create a more equitable division of labor.
These strategies not only alleviate stress but also foster healthier relationships. For single parents or those with limited support, therapy can focus on building internal resilience and identifying community resources.
Addressing Systemic Influences
Effective therapy for moms often takes an intersectional approach, recognizing how systemic factors like racism, classism, or heteronormativity shape their experiences.
For example, a mother of color may face unique stressors related to discrimination, which can compound postpartum depression.
Supporting All Stages of Motherhood
Therapy is beneficial at every stage of motherhood, from preconception to parenting adult children.
During fertility challenges or pregnancy, therapy can address anxiety, grief, or body image concerns. In the postpartum period, it helps moms navigate emotional highs and lows, feeding struggles, or birth trauma.
As children grow, therapy supports moms in managing parenting stress, co-parenting dynamics, or redefining their identity as their roles evolve.
Virtual therapy has become a valuable option, offering flexibility for moms with busy schedules or limited access to in-person care.
Studies show that virtual sessions are as effective as in-person therapy, providing the same level of support and satisfaction. This accessibility is particularly important for moms who are homebound or juggling newborn care.
Practical Steps for Mental Wellness
Prioritize Rest:
Sleep deprivation exacerbates mental health challenges. Moms can aim for earlier bedtimes, short naps, or shared nighttime responsibilities with partners to improve rest.
Practice Gratitude:
Reflecting on one or two things each day that bring joy or gratitude can shift focus from stress to appreciation, boosting emotional resilience.
Engage in Mindful Breathing:
Taking a few minutes for deep, intentional breathing can reduce stress and center the mind, even during busy days.
Connect with Others:
Building a network of supportive moms, whether through online communities or local groups, fosters a sense of belonging and validation.
Move the Body:
Gentle activities like postnatal yoga or family walks release endorphins, improving mood and reducing stress.
Embracing the Journey
Motherhood is a dynamic, evolving experience that brings both profound rewards and significant challenges. Matrescence reminds us that becoming a mother is a lifelong process, deserving of grace, patience, and support.
Therapy offers a powerful tool for navigating this journey, providing a space to process emotions, address mental health challenges, and reclaim a sense of self amidst the demands of caregiving.
By acknowledging the complexities of motherhood—hormonal shifts, societal pressures, and identity changes—moms can approach their role with greater self-compassion.
Whether facing postpartum depression, the mental load, or the bittersweet grief of a shifting identity, therapy empowers moms to find balance, resilience, and joy.
As mothers care for their families, they deserve care and support in return, ensuring they can thrive in all stages of their journey.
From Start to Finish: Therapy & Counseling in 3 Steps
1.
Book a free initial consultation to share your concerns and explore how therapy can support your mental health goals.
2.
After understanding your needs, your therapist will design a personalized therapy plan, incorporating approaches like CBT or mindfulness to address your unique challenges.
3.
Begin your therapy sessions—available in-person or online—with flexible scheduling options, and let your therapist guide you toward growth and emotional well-being.
Our Experience
Keyword Ideas (anxiety therapist near me, anxiety and OCD therapist, online anxiety therapy California, social anxiety California, relationship anxiety therapist)
Have Questions? We’ve Answers for You.
Find answers to your questions about therapy, Muna’s services and specialization, Insurance, or privacy here.
Muna Farhat, LMFT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in San Jose, CA.
She holds the necessary credentials to practice therapy in California, with expertise in supporting individuals, couples, and families through various emotional and relational challenges.
As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Muna adheres to strict confidentiality standards outlined by California state law and the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA).
Your personal information is securely stored and only shared with your explicit consent, except in legally mandated situations.
Therapy is a collaborative process where you work with a trained professional, like Muna, to address emotional, mental, or relational challenges. It can help you gain insight, develop coping strategies, and achieve personal growth or resolution of specific issues.
Counseling and therapy are often used interchangeably, but counseling typically focuses on specific issues or short-term goals (e.g., coping with a life transition), while therapy may involve deeper exploration of long-standing patterns. Muna offers both, depending on your needs.